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New Photos from the Arrested Development Set

Tue, 21 May 2013 16:57:00 GMT

There is a brass seal. Of course.

The 2013 Esquire Summer Movie Preview

Tue, 21 May 2013 12:00:00 GMT

The rest after the jump...

10 Classic Movie Car Chases According to Fast & Furious's Stunt Driver

Tue, 21 May 2013 08:48:00 GMT

Robert Nagle.

Robert Nagle doesn't watch car chases like the rest of us. A former rally car driver with a degree in mechanical engineering, Nagle is now a heavyweight in the Hollywood stunt world. So while all we popcorn munchers watch movies to "ohh" and "ahh" at things both fast and furious, he's watched for the details.

"It's a good thing for me. It makes me look at things closely to see what works and what doesn't. What looks good to the naked eye doesn't always look good on camera," Nagle says. Fresh off filming Fast & Furious 6, out in theaters Friday, Nagle provided us with some expert insight on ten memorable movie car chases — some classic, some horrible, and one with the world's worst sound effect. We started with a movie he worked on...

Remembering the Song: Montell Jordan on the Endless Life of 'This Is How We Do It'

Tue, 21 May 2013 07:35:00 GMT

Eighteen years ago this month, Montell Jordan's "This Is How We Do It," the ultimate ode to South Central swagger, peaked at the top of the Billboard Hot 100. The song remained there for the seven weeks and still hasn't faded from memory. We recently asked Jordan, now a pastor for Victory World Church in Norcross, Georgia, how he feels about the song. Part of a regular series. —The Editors

Montell Jordan in 2012. "Elton John stopped and said, 'Hey, one of my label mates just went to No. 1 on the pop and R&B charts.'"

I was working for an ad agency and singing in some nightclubs in Pasadena, California. It became a moonlighting thing, and people thought what I was doing outside the office was interfering with work. I was kind of living the dream of the unsigned artist paying his dues. One day, I told my coworkers, "Hey, I gotta sing at this club. You guys should come one night." A majority of them came.

I was singing Luther Vandross songs, and some people started laying money at my feet on stage. The very next day, people at work were saying, "That Montell, he's not going be at this company long. He was really, really good." I went from being employee of the month to getting fired a couple of weeks after that show. They brought me a going-away cake. Who gets fired and gets a going-away cake? I sold my car, bought a sampler keyboard, and started creating loops so I could fuse hip-hop with R&B vocals...

A Place at the Table: A Maddening, Inspiring Film About Hungry Kids in America

Tue, 21 May 2013 06:51:00 GMT

It’s a strange country, America, and not just because of the Honey Boo Boo wedding—although that’s part of it. Look at the obesity problem. There are a lot of fat kids out there, and most of us probably think we know why. Their parents buy them junk. Companies who make junk market it to kids. Kids themselves buy junk with their allowances because it tastes good. Nobody cares. It’s an endless cycle.

All true. But America is a strange country because while we have those things, we also have a classic American paradox: In addition to one of the highest childhood obesity rates in the world, we also have an alarming—and I mean unbelievably alarming—rate of childhood hunger. And often it’s the same kids.

Game of Thrones Power-Grab Rankings: Second Sons

Mon, 20 May 2013 17:15:00 GMT

This week, ranging from leeches to lecherous mercenaries...

5. Theon Greyjoy

Action: He wasn’t actually in this episode, but we’ll keep in mind that he’s being brutally tortured and/or castrated, so he's going to stay in last place regardless.

4. Sansa Stark and Tyrion Lannister

Action: They were married in the sight of gods and men, bound together til death does them part. Sansa finally learned that she can trust at least one Lannister, while Tyrion made a decision that may haunt him in the future.

Verdict: Being forced into a loveless marriage, no matter how courteous the lady is or chivalrous the lord, doesn’t do either of them any good psychologically. The repeated pressuring to consummate their marriage, Joffrey continuing to be a monster and threatening Sansa with rape — these are the kinds of things that may push Sansa back to Littlefinger, should he return. Meanwhile, Tyrion made the drunken mistake of threatening to geld the king. That would stick in anyone’s mind, let alone the sociopath that paid Littlefinger to let him use one of his women as crossbow practice...

The Game of Thrones Dossier: Stannis Baratheon

Mon, 20 May 2013 16:44:00 GMT

Each week, we'll take a deeper look at one character or group of characters from Game of Thrones who play a prominent role in the most recent episode.

“How many boys dwell in Westeros? How many girls? How many men? How many women? The darkness will devour them all, she says. The night that never ends… Great or small, we must do our duty."

Stannis Baratheon — true heir of Robert, newly-minted believer in R’hllor. Unlike many of the believers in the gods of Westeros, Stannis needed proof before he gave himself to the red god of Melisandre. Now that he’s made that decision, and burned leeches tied to the lives of his enemies, we’ll see how his new faith stands up to reality. That’s a question for the future, however. In the meantime, let’s look at the past.

Born just a year after Robert, Stannis is everything his brother wasn’t. Grim, gaunt, and serious, while Robert was joyful, jolly and jowly. When Robert rebelled against the Mad King, Stannis had a hard choice to make. He could either remain true to the king, as the law dictated, or fight alongside his brother. For the first time in his life, Stannis chose family over duty. As a consequence of that, he found himself under siege in his family home for over a year. At fifteen years old, Stannis withstood forced-starvation, the might of House Tyrell, and all the other lords of the Reach (including his future in-laws). When Davos Seaworth snuck behind enemy lines with his ship full of onions and fish, the garrison of Storm’s End was saved. Davos was richly rewarded by Stannis for the rescue, granted lands and knighthood and service to one of the most powerful houses in Westeros...

The Mad Men Recap: Uh … What the Hell Was That?

Mon, 20 May 2013 14:42:00 GMT

Season 6, Episode 8: "The Crash"

Okay, everyone. Take your pick. Last night’s hallucinatory, mind-altering episode of Mad Men was:

A. Stranger than that season-five installment where Roger did LSD and thought the 1919 World Series was taking place in his bathroom.

B. A rip-off of that Sopranos episode where Tony got food poisoning and fever-dreamed that Big Pussy was a talking fish...

Kickender: Donate to Kill Zach Braff's New Movie

Mon, 20 May 2013 09:22:00 GMT

ABOUT THIS PROJECT:

Wish You'd Used Your Own Damn Money will attempt to thwart, dismantle, and prevent former Scrubs star Zach Braff's latest project, funded exclusively through private donations. Simultaneously, we will be filming a documentary of the un-making of Wish I Was Here. By raising a mere $5 million, we can turn reality into an impossibility...

America's Most Obsessive Jazz Label, 30 Years On

Mon, 20 May 2013 08:07:00 GMT

Mosaic Records, the select reissue jazz label, which launched thirty years ago this summer, is on an anonymous street in Stamford, Connecticut, about a half mile from the glass castles of UBS and RBS. It shares a plain white building with, among others, a lighting company, a fencing studio, and an upholsterer, but if anyone wanted to immerse themselves in what some refer to as America's only original art form, this street — Fairfield Avenue, it's called — would be as valuable as West 52nd or Bourbon...

The State of Funny

Mon, 20 May 2013 06:25:00 GMT

Published in the June/July 2013 issue, on sale any day now

Monkeys dressed as humans: funny.

Monkeys dressed as humans while biting the face off someone: not funny.

Dogs barking with their mouths closed while they sleep: recently discovered to be hilarious.

Farting? Still funny.

"Hilarious" friends of friends: never funny. They are always obnoxious and will get you beaten up in bars.

Funny women: funny. Obviously.

Conservatives: not funny. Comedy is about anarchy, and since conservatives don't like disorder or rule breaking, they can't be funny.

Your joke: If no one laughs, then it isn't funny.

Bananas: funny.

Apples: not funny.

Old people rapping...

Norman Seeff on His Iconic Photos of The Stones, Ray Charles, Carly Simon & More

Sat, 18 May 2013 12:00:00 GMT

For the past forty years, Norman Seeff has been milking all he can from his subjects, and they're more than happy to give it to him. The South African filmmaker and sometimes photographer, who was once an emergency doctor, describes his work as "a spontaneous interaction with artists, which is all about vulnerability."

But to the musicians he works with, he embodies much more: spiritual guru, art director, confidant, and partner in crime...

See Seeff's photos after the jump...

Q&A: Ashley Tisdale on Being One of the World's Sexiest Women

Fri, 17 May 2013 17:22:00 GMT

A list of Disney Channel alumni basically doubles as a who's who in pop culture these days, with Ryan Gosling, Justin Timberlake, Selena Gomez, and a lot more all on it. Now the lovely and talented Ashley Tisdale is getting some work away from the Mouse, too. She recently starred in the latest from the Scary Movie franchise, and will appear in the reboot of the religious epic Left Behind some time next year. Tisdale was in New York City this week to do some press for the new intense Cracker Jack'D flavors (cheddar BBQ is a personal favorite), so we talked to her about taking on new challenges and what it was like to be on set with Mike Tyson.

ESQUIRE.COM: Sorry, I'm so used to hearing your voice as Candace on Phineas and Ferb, so a casual conversation might throw me off.

ASHLEY TISDALE: [Laughs.] That's so funny. Thanks for watching.

ESQ: No problem. How do you like voice acting as opposed to being on a set?

AT: I like it. It's something different, just because you can't rely on your expressions, so you have to go really over-the-top with your performance. And it's also something you can just go in and do in your pajamas, which is great. It's super-casual, so I always love that part.

ESQ: And disappearing into a big hoodie is probably nice with the pressure of being named the world's seventh sexiest woman.

AT: Yes, which was crazy.

ESQ: How did you find out?

AT: I actually hadn't heard until a friend saw it and told me...

When Did Star Trek Become So Damn Dark?

Fri, 17 May 2013 16:46:00 GMT

Star Trek Into Darkness is a pretty ridiculous name, all things considered, but it's at least nicely suggestive. It portends things — dark things. It seems to say, here is more Star Trek, only more serious and more epic and, I dunno, more like a Christopher Nolan movie or something. Ever since Batman Begins, Hollywood can't seem to contain its sense of self-importance and self-seriousness. Action has to get real, man. Trailers have to have that bwwaaaaamp noise from Inception, because that's how we know the movie is epic. And so, just as every new Harry Potter movie after the second one was advertised as "the dark one," this new Star Trek arrives as, indeed, Star Trek as you've never seen it before. People yell at each other! Characters will die, maybe! This ain't your father's Star Trek, kid, with its silly '60s vibe and free-love attitude — this is Star Trek Really Serious, Guys...

J.J. Abrams's Star Trek Into Darkness Is Bland and Safe. But That's Not Totally Bad.

Fri, 17 May 2013 12:00:00 GMT

J.J. Abrams has become the foremost science fiction moviemaker of his time by playing to two crowds at once. He is the maker of tight and thrilling action movies that appeal to the mainstream and he is a geek of the first order, the Comic-Con attendee who just happens to have producer credentials. His latest movie, Star Trek Into Darkness, which is out now, is the ultimate expression of this dichotomy, an almost-too-perfect series of action sequences bundled around a collection of inside jokes that amount to a kind of postmodern experiment about how much the audience already knows about the story it's being told...

How to Be Much Better at Cornhole

Fri, 17 May 2013 08:07:00 GMT

No one knows the exact history of cornhole, the lawn game involving tossing small bags at rectangular, wooden boards with a hole in them. Some say Germans invented it in the 1300s. Others claim that the Native American Blackhawk tribe started it when they stuffed dried animal bladders with corn and threw them around for entertainment.

If you've ever played cornhole, however, you're probably not thinking about any of that while throwing bags. You're most likely pondering some combination of the following: "This is absurdly fun"; "I don't see why I can't day-drink all the time"; and "How the hell can I get better at this?" Luckily for you, we interviewed a couple guys who can help with that last thought, just in time for lawn-game season.

Mike Whitton is the president of the American Cornhole Association. Eric Hinerman is a professional cornhole player with five years under his belt, and the director of certified officials for the American Cornhole Organization. The ACA is focused on the amateur aspects of cornhole and the ACO is all about expertise, complete with pro tours. If you really want to be the best cornhole player, we suggest you heed their advice...

Listen to Hip-Hop Beats, Produced by Tea Party Republican Congressman Trey Radel

Fri, 17 May 2013 07:46:00 GMT

This is Congressman Trey Radel. He’s a 37-year-old gun-loving, budget-balancing Tea Party Republican from southern Florida. He’s also, it was discovered over the past couple days, a major hip-hop head who uses "Fight the Power" by Public Enemy as something of an anthem, knows that Tupac is for "driving in my car" and Biggie is "for the party," and, most importantly does this: He makes his own beats.

When we heard that last part, we called him up and asked him to send us — and only us — some of his beats. Which he graciously did. We've put them below.

We also spoke with him about beat-making this morning, while he was watching a feed of the House floor to see when he needed to vote on the S.E.C. Accountability Act. Some quick background: He does not have a DJ name. He has a hard-drive full of mostly GarageBand tracks. He's been influenced by Eric B., Massive Attack, Daft Punk, and Dr. Dre (his communications director, Amanda Nuñez, said they call his music "Beats by Trey" around his D.C. office). He doesn't have time to make beats much anymore ("I have not done anything musically inclined in about a year-and-a-half or so, except to pick up the acoustic guitar and play to my young boy"). He doesn't know of any other Congressional beat-makers.

He also says he's not very good (which, if you listen, especially to the middle part of his "Hoochie Coochie Man" remix, is actually debatable): "I'm a rookie. I mean, my stuff is just some things I put together as a hobby. I'm not really good. I really enjoy making it. And If I have some cheesy tune where I'm remixing Public Enemy and people like it, hey, it puts a smile on my face."

Here are the tracks, with commentary from the Representative himself...

The 11 Best Self-Deprecating Commencement Speeches

Fri, 17 May 2013 07:04:00 GMT

Delivering a university (or even high school) commencement address is a high honor often bestowed upon people who don't believe that they deserve it. They tend to come from the arts (rarely has a politician ever question his self-worth) and rather than deny the invitation, they deal with their self-doubt by calling attention to their unworthiness. Done well, it's really charming and the perfect introduction to something that's often overly earnest and needlessly serious. With a torrent of speeches headed down the pike in the coming weeks, we searched out the best examples of self-deprecation from college commencement speeches, and here's what we found.

• Jon Stewart at William & Mary

"When I think back to the people that have been in this position before me, from Benjamin Franklin to Queen Noor of Jordan, I can't help but wonder what has happened to this place. Seriously, it saddens me. As a person, I am honored to get it; as an alumnus, I have to say I believe we can do better." ...

Context-Free Lines from This Week's Movie Reviews

Fri, 17 May 2013 06:13:00 GMT

Star Trek Into Darkness

“The good people at Paramount have asked me not to say too much about the plot, so I won’t, except to note that it is pretty dumb.” —A.O. Scott, The New York Times

The Comic's Comic: Mike Vecchione

Thu, 16 May 2013 17:25:00 GMT

In this series, we ask comedians to name the comedians they enjoy. Then we ask those people, too. Last week, Vladimir Caamaño chose Erik Rivera. Below, Rivera talks about Mike Vecchione, seen on Comedy Central and IFC's Z Rock.


The Best (and Worst) Shows Coming to Your TV

Thu, 16 May 2013 16:56:00 GMT

Upfront season, besides being an opportunity for network execs to hawk their upcoming shows while making talent dance for ad buyers, is foremost known as the time you begin emotionally preparing yourself for the fall shuffling of your DVR queue. Some changes are welcome (You don't have to watch The Cleveland Show anymore!), and some are distressing (Why doesn't Hannibal have a place on the lineup, NBC?). But as sprouts peep through the ashes of forest fires, so emerge the new pilots through the devastation of the dismal 2012-2013 series, when NBC (NBC! Which at certain points this year came in fifth place behind Univision and had to give away free commercials to advertisers) was the network that lost the fewest viewers.

After watching the upfront previews, we have ranked the networks in descending order of promise and let you know what will be replacing the Happy Endings-sized hole in your heart and DVR...


What I Learned From Watching Every Single Episode of The Office

Thu, 16 May 2013 12:00:00 GMT

After The Office airs its final episode tonight, it will ascend to heaven, which is just like Scranton but with better restaurants. When the U.S. version of the show debuted in 2005, I was just taking my seat in the adjustable-heighted, ergonomically-designed chair of corporate life. I saw myself as the Jim Halpert of every office I worked in, like everyone does. Even “the Dwight.” The sometimes-brilliant, sometimes-shaky nine seasons of The Office are like any lengthy tenure at a job; some years are Season 3 (the year your bonus was enough to buy a café racer) and some are Season 8 (the year they made Skylar your boss). The important thing is to learn from all of it. Here’s a season-by-season breakdown of important lessons to be learned from The Office that will guide you through the perils of cubicle culture.

1. Never do impressions.

Season 1, Episode 2: Michael Scott recites Chris Rock’s most famous bit.

It doesn’t matter how many of your friends tell you your Bill Cosby or Tony Danza is sublime; don’t do it. It will always look worse under those fluorescent office bulbs. Think of them as searchlights, illuminating the fact that your “Al Pacino Placing a Complicated Order at Starbucks” routine didn’t even elicit a false-kindness smile from your spouse.

2. Just write “Happy Birthday” in the card.

Season 1, Episode 4: Michael agonizes over, and later offends via, Hallmark.

Don’t agonize over the perfect sentiment in any office greeting card. That sht will be in the trash by lunchtime anyway. Oh, you wrote two verses of a Keats poem? Unless you can scratch those verses away to reveal a voucher for a free Egg McMuffin, you wasted them.

3. Beware playing sports with your coworkers.

Season 1, Episode 5: An intra-office basketball game at Dunder Mifflin results in a brawl.

If you are a scratch golfer or hit .406 on your college baseball team, you might think this doesn’t apply to you. It does. No good can come from upstaging your boss or screaming at you co-workers like Tom Thibodeau. Also, no one at your office wants to see any part of your thighs...


The Raging Gen Y Narcissists of The Bling Ring

Thu, 16 May 2013 10:00:00 GMT

The Bling Ring, which screened today at the Cannes Film Festival, already looks to be the Spring Breakers II of 2013, which is to say, another Generation X filmmaker (in this case, Sofia Coppola, not Harmony Korine) taking on the cultural baggage of the generation after them, which grew up with the spectacle and glut of the '90s boom years and came of age as it all fell apart for them. Like Korine, Coppola, at least based on reports, surrounds her characters with excess and trashiness — heroin, stripper pole, tramp stamp, designer handbags — giving them a kind of desperate fantasy of what their lives could've been.

But it's the real-life story that inspired The Bling Ring, about a group of L.A. kids who robbed the homes of fashionable celebrities, that's especially ridiculous...


The Strange Mass Appeal of Daft Punk

Thu, 16 May 2013 08:31:00 GMT

There are a number of aspects about pre-Internet pop culture that seemed like bugs at the time, but with the benefit of rose-colored hindsight have come to be seen as features. Notably there's a strange nostalgia for the concept of a pop music monoculture, where massive, demographically diverse audiences could be united in the fandom of a select handful of global superstars — your Michael Jacksons, Beatles, Princes, and Led Zeppelins — in a way that seems more and more impossible to replicate as the pop landscape becomes increasingly fragmented.

Like most cases of nostalgia this one's had some of its factual basis replaced by mythology. Not everyone thought that the entirety of pop culture uniting behind a handful of artists was a good thing, and the stifling atmosphere of conformity that Jackson and Zeppelin and others inspired led directly to counterrevolutions like punk and alternative rock.

But the universal pop star has its appeal, at least in theory (and in memory)...


Pacific Rim: The Instant Trailer Review

Thu, 16 May 2013 07:36:00 GMT
Trailer review